The Second Secret

Whoever read the first. If anyone is actually reading this. Its crazy aint it how so much goes on and nobody seems to pay attention. I mean that happened next door to my parents. Crazy… to anyone who has been through any sexual abuse know that you aint alone. Eventually it gets easier to forget. But the key is to simply move forward. I did . You can too.

Anywayss moving on …

So like i was sayin we moved to portugal. Was a nightmare hated it . You know when you feel like you dont belong. That crazy stomach feeling and anxiety and just always nervous. It was insane i had so many emotions going on at once. But its possible i guess.

Well after a while it got better you know i was making friends having crushes. It got great. Untill i decided to get a summer job…

It was a bar. But not any bar. A vintage one. All expensive and you know wealthy people i suppose. I was 14 at this point….one of my friends from school she introduced me to the bar owner which was her dad surprisingly. I got the job parents werent very happy but i felt good.

Well it soon turned into another secret…

My boss was a 30 something year old man very skinny had a weird baby face but not in a good way. He was like awkward looking. He was real nice new my parents were very strict so gave me more hours here and there to keep me out the house. We would laugh alot. He actaully owned a bar and two summer bars. So there were chairs and tables outside on a patio. Really nice environment if your into peace and love kind of thing. Which i definitely was. I started smoking weed and having dreadlocks by the age of 13. Guess i was rebelling if you wanna call it something….

Anyways he started giving me more and more responsibilities i was hardly working at a point ,was managing the bills and counting paychecks. At 14. I didnt find it weird you know you never expect certain sitiations.

But i soon changed my mind…

As he walked passed me he would grab my bum or lean against me. I just thought i was getting in over my head. Like i thought my ego was getting to big and it was just all happening in my mind.

But then it started to get to me…

He would ask awkward questions. If i would ever be with a 30 year old man. Or if i found him attractive. It was insane. Honestly i thought i was the problem. Did i wear unapropriate clothes? Did i smile a certain way? Laugh a certain way? You know.

It went on and on till i decided to quit as i was gonna start school anyways… he told me to meet him at his house so he could pay me. But what happens next i thought would never ever happen to me…

As i walked in he went upstairs i sat on the couch waiting. He came down with an envelope full of cash and instead of handing it to me. He sat on me. Now remember i am 14. I am tiny and harmless and just working to save some money for school. He is 30. He literally sat on me like a baby. As if it was just a normal thing. He tried to kiss me and kept saying you only get this opportunity once. Wow…

He actually named it an opportunity. What the hell!!! I said my mums outside waiting which she wasnt. Asked for my paycheck and left….

That was the last time i heard or saw of him. Once again i didnt tell anyone untill i finally told my mum and he was contacted by the police.

Its crazy. First my brother. Then my boss. Things were looking great for me. Its disgusting how people take advantage and it happens so naturally and so quickly you think your the mad one. Well you aint. Their perverts and disgusting and … dont even know what else to call them …

Well thats another secret i guess….

 

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